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Saddle the Fuck Up

October 10, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Feed that Jukebox Son, I Lost My Heart to a Woman no Bigger’n a Popcorn Fart: Part One

by Stephanie Vossekuil

Love is a real fucker, ain’t it? And no one knows that more than our favorite country heroes. My last list might have set more of a silly, honky-tonkin’, pickin’ and grinnin’ tone but in this latest installment of Saddle the Fuck Up, we’re gonna dive on into that pure heartache and literally choke on homesickness and downright helplessness. Yes’m let’s get real deep into those country blues and take some time to ponder the days when our twangy forefathers were cranking out real musical sorrow—not the current tear jerkers falling dangerously short of passability urging all those little southern cuties to save a horse, ride a cowboy.

Maybe you’ve heard them a thousand times, maybe this is your first rodeo. Whatever the case, I hope by the end of it, there will be many a tear in your cold, cold beer.

1. Hank Snow – Now and Then (There’s a Fool Such as I)
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, here he is again to regale us with a tune of genuine unrequited love.

2. Patsy Cline – Leavin’ on Your Mind
A woman with many a great sad song, this is one of my favorites. Just leave her already, you dickhead.

3. Skeeter Davis – The End of the World
Nothing like losing your main squeeze to drive you into a suidcidal meltdown.

4. Waylon Jennings – Dreaming My Dreams
Excuse me Mr. Jennings, but I believe I left something in your Wranglers.

5. Tom T. Hall – That’s How I Got to Memphis
Sometimes, you drag your poor heart on a perilous quest for the one you love most.

6. Ray Price – Crazy Arms
Sometimes your only love marries another man and you go bat shit insane. Get them honky tonk blues.

7. Merle Haggard – Silver Wings
That airplane is taking her away from you forever. Now, your only friend is the bottle. Poor bastard.

8. Porter Wagoner – I Thought I Heard You Calling My Name
He’s so heart broken, he’s having auditory hallucinations.

9. Brenda Lee – I’m Sorry
That little girl you’ve been dating is beside herself with distress. And now she’s crying, you asshole.

10. Roger Miller – One Dying and a Buryin’
Freedom through suicide.

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